Brenda in Japan

Hailing from Minneapolis, Minnesota, Brenda McKinney is an American living and working in the Kansai region of Japan. This is an account of her life and adventures among the fine people of Nihon.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Spendin' most our lives livin' in the blogger’s paradise

Reading your friends' blogs can be an interesting experience. We had a little scuffle a few weeks ago when I finally checked a friend’s blog and she had written about how she was upset about something I had done (came off wrong & caused some unnecessary tension in the group). I also know there has been drama in the past when people here have posted a virtual diary detailing exactly what they think of the other foreigners they live near.

Anyways, I read my friend’s blog about the Jidai Matsuri (a festival we went to in Kyoto last weekend - *see end of this entry for more info) today and realized that reading opinions via blogs, while sometimes harmful, can also be a great source for personal reflection.

While the festival/parade was cool, I was surprised to read that my friend, who had never been to Kyoto before, had a horrible time and was not impressed by the city. She hated it. You see, every guidebook tells you Kyoto is 'a must' in Japan and everyone else seems to love it. And for that reason, I am usually pretty discreet about the fact that I am not exactly a fan of Kyoto either. I get annoyed every time I go, and am so happy to be back in Kobe when I leave. The reason I go back, however, is because of all of the cultural relics. It's literally like a jewel-in-the-rough. The temples are so moving and beautiful (especially if not drowning with other tourists - Japanese and foreign alike) and there is enough to see for weeks or years. It is just getting from temple-to-temple through the city that gets annoying. I get sick of the other gaijin (many of them perpetrating the stereotypes) and just don't like the feel of the town. Can't explain it, but I don't feel at home and am really glad I don’t live there.

I found myself relieved to hear the songs of another soul who feels the same. And I don’t think I would have found that confession (at least living where I am) without having read my friend’s blog. I told her to go back for a day-trip or two once the trains have day-passes again to do sightseeing (it gets better - SO amazing), but I think I will definitely be checking blogs and keeping up with friends here more. Maybe I shouldn’t keep mine suck a secret, either...

These are just some random thoughts, so sorry for the long posts... I'm a talker and I guess it translates to written-word ;) Happy Halloween to everyone and I hope all is well. Miss you:)


*JIDAI MATSURI (festival) is a huge cultural festival that takes place in Kyoto in October each year. Someone told me it started when they moved the capital to Tokyo so Kyoto still had something to boast about (to lift their spirits), but that has yet to be confirmed. There is a huge parade (almost 2 hours from start to finish) where people dressed in period-costumes from Japan’s history walk through the streets of the culturally rich city. We positioned ourselves just in front of the Imperial Palace (at the start of the parade), but I think it would have also been cool to watch it from Heian where a huge orange Torii stretches over a street leading to a large Temple (also the end of the parade).

LOST

For the last few weeks, Tam and Clayton - my American couple friends that live a town over - and I have been getting together on Thursday nights for dinner and a few episodes of LOST. I didn’t watch much TV outside of the news and Grey’s Anatomy before coming to Japan, so I had actually never seen the show. Tam and Clayton have a bigger place than me and live by our other friends, so I usually go to their apartment, but I invited them over so they could see my apartment (and the new bed!!!) and so I could make din for a change. I’ve only seen the first 8 episodes so far, and I am not as obsessed as some get, but it is pretty good.
Anyways, I just made pasta with pesto for us and it was fun to have friends over, but I thought it was funny that Clayton was so upset that my place is not a dump. He was expecting a hole and was pretty disappointed when the place was, well, nice. I guess may have complained a bit too much about being moved from the larger apartment and having to basically build my place from scratch. I showed them the bath situation before they wrote me off as a complete whiner, but I do have to say that this was a good sign; I think my place has finally come full-circle and is looking (and feeling) pretty cute. I dare say I am starting to get comfy. Eand my house is feeling more like a place to call home.

FlipFest 2006 - Minneapolis

By adding this blog, I guess I am admitting I attended (and may have participated in - maybe even won by default) last year’s flip cup festival at Williams Pub in Uptown. If you missed it, all I can say is that it was seriously like a scene out of a Ben Stiller movie. Two guys from my CSC broomball team had planned the outing, so I didn’t really expect too big of a crowd. I also thought we might be out-of-place in the bright-green t-shirts Cam made our team (Rick, Casey, Chris, Cameron & me), but we were pretty much in the norm or even underdressed. It was crazy!
There was a team with cut-off-arm jean-vests with drawn-on mustaches and berets, another dressed as scouts, and several teams with t-shirts and sweat bands. To make things worse (or better?), not only is Williams a local watering hole for alumni from both my college and high school (so I run into people all the time), but the basement was packed with a huge number of my former co-workers from Target. Even my old Finance Expert was there. At least there was a lot of team spirit in the air. Even if it was flip cup.
Anyways, I got an Evite with a reminder about this year’s flipcup tournie and it made me think of home and reminisce a bit. I will obviously not be attending, but hope those of you that do have an awesome time and good luck!

PS - if you don’t know what FlipCup is, please don’t bother looking it up. It’s, er,a college thing....

Learning to Bow

I have realized that I have recently become a bowing-maniac! I bow to say hello (a Japanese version of the ‘Minnesota-nice' smile/nod/greeting); I bow to people when I am on my bike; I even caught myself bowing on the phone when I was trying to schedule a delivery last week!
Bowing - much like language - has different levels of politeness. There is the small, more informal bow, the 45 degree more respectful bow, and the kiss-your-toes, grinding-the-sesame (sucking up), ultimate respect bow.
At first I would just try to stay on the safe side and bow pretty low to everyone, but I think I have it down now. I can’t stop. Next time you see me, give me a bow or two. I am willing to bet you money I will instinctively bow back each time without even thinking about it.

Note: I ripped this subject-liner (Learning to Bow) off of novel by an American in Japan. I recommend the book if you are into Japan or want to learn more. It's a great read!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

'Oh, you're so good with the hashi!'

The Japanese will often compliment foreigners on their amazing hashi (chopstick) abilities the first time they see them use them (or in other words, eat). I know, I know... we have them in America and even a 5-year-old can use chopsticks. But this is more of an ice-breaker than an actual compliment so the Japanese consider it polite.
Compliment or not, though, I really do think I am getting better at using hashi. I taught myself to hold them in a really strange way when I was a kid, and have now - finally - caved in to correcting my form so I hold them the 'correct' way. I guess I am not trying to brag by listing all of these little accomplishments (if you can call them that); I just find it interesting to observe progress and change in subtle ways.
I also learned last week that there are about 8 main rules regarding chopsticks. I know not to let my chopsticks rest IN the food (like sticking in the rice - they do this at funerals!) or pass food between chopsticks (another funeral thing), but I definately picked up some ettiquete this week that I have been blatently going against since I arrived. I know not to 'spear' food with them either, but licking rice off the chopsticks, for example, is considered disgusting. Oops.
Goes to show even 'simple' things can hold hidden meaning. I might be reading into this too much, but I kind of think the ettiquete behind chopsticks offers a small glimse into the structure and maybe delicate beauty and art in this country.

Sticking to the Woman Speak

In my previous post, I mentioned sexism - or at least stereotypes and 'special treatment'- in Japan.
Don't get me wrong. While I have not quite formed the opinion that Japan is sexist (I definately feel included and respected by my coworkers, for example), I recently learned some interesting tidbits about the culture I see as worth sharing. In addition to all the different levels of formality within the Japanese language (similar to the 'respectful tenses' found in German or Norwegian; feks. bruk av Dem) there are also a slew of words I am simply not allowed to use in Japanese because they are only for men. I think it’s one thing to be respectful and at least try to communicate in the native language, but it is another when I don’t know if I am using the right level of politeness (aim higher here) or even if I am supposed to (or allowed to?) be using the word I learned at all.
The difference in language has got me thinking. When I arrived in Japan, there was a lot of publicity and debate surrounding whether or not females should be able to ascend the royal throne. I know this has a lot to do with tradition, but it makes me wonder what other reasons might have been behind opposing a female heir.... and what else women are not supposed to do here.

Embodying the Western Woman

One of my Japanese co-workers who lived in America for 5 years recently gave me a book of comics about a single, expatriate living in Japan. The premise is that this guy comes to Japan and is suddenly transformed from a normal-to-nerdy Canadian dude into ‘Charisma Man’, every (Japanese) girl’s fantasy. Charisma Man goes 'from zero to hero' in the blink of an eye. While this concept may seem a little ironic, racist or ridiculous at first, I can attest to the fact that the story is at least partially rooted in truth. The creater of the strip lived in Japan, and I think the comic is incredibly insightful into the life and perspectives of gaijin (or foreigners) - especially western - living here. I definately think it is a clever social commentary, although as time goes on and I witness the ‘Charisma Man’ phenomenon more and more, I think I may actually be (secretly) starting to embody the persona of the "evil" western woman (charisma man's archnemesis).
I came to this realization last week when I attended a cultural event with some other foreigners and mostly Japanese people. The Japanese people I was with were very polite and sweet, but I almost became invisible (or at least had to take a back seat) when the women got a load of the foreign guy I was with.
At first I thought this could be a cultural difference. As my co-worker put it after a work party one night, ‘in America it is ladies first, but in Japan it is men first’ (originally followed by a ‘get used to it’!). This is a hierarchal society and things can be easier for men, but looking back in hindsight (always 20/20!), I am pretty certain it was the guy’s 'foreign charm’ (i.e. being western) and not just his maleness that gave him so much power and appeal. I do know several Japanese women whose Charisma-man-o-meter (sense of reality?) is in check, but they are the exception rather than the norm.
It is probably somewhat hypocritical for me to complain. I have without a doubt gotten special treatment because of my western appearance (both here and in other parts of Asia), but I still feel like the male factor brings it to a whole new level.

Here is a peek at the strip (click on the picture to enlarge it):

Charisma Man; Artists and Writers: Larry Rodney, Wayne Wilson, Glen Schroeder

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Down the Rabbit Hole…

We had Monday off (due to the national sports-festival) and it marked the end of my 5-day weekend. My friend Emily was originally going to come visit for a few days, but she got sick so I ended up just gallivanting around all weekend. Monday's plan was to check out the festival in Akashi, but – ironically – I was not feeling well either and was forced to spend the day in bed. I am not one to comply with bed-rest unless I have to, however, and I was pretty bummed when the festival plans were a bust… Until…

Tuesday morning was back to the grind. Everything was pretty normal until I reached Takasago, the town where I work. I was walking from the Takasago station when I was suddenly surrounded by the distinctive rhythm of someone beating a taiko drum. The Takasago streets have been decorated with paper flowers and lanterns for several weeks now and the city is apparently known for festivals, but I had yet to see a real one (thanks to Monday) and have been eagerly awaiting my first opportunity to get in on the action. As I curiously tried to locate the source of the noise, a man in a sort of yukata (summer kimono) jacket-thing ran out onto the street in front of me. Literally in my way. Before I could figure out what he was doing, the rest of his group followed and I realized why they had been drumming…it was a mikoshi (moving-shrine)!!!!


A large group of men carrying a golden-shrine on their shoulders poured out of a driveway and started their journey to the local shrine. I excitedly ran down the street after the shrine, snapping pictures and laughing with the groups of followers. I almost felt like a National geographic photographer or something. It was still a work day, however, so I could not go too far before turning back and making my way to work.

I was still contemplating the encounter, elated with my purely Japanese experience, when it happened again. I didn’t walk 50 meters before I heard it. The beating started faintly and got stronger before a group of loincloth-clad men hopped out in front of me and proceeded to carry their golden shrine down the narrow alleyway, chanted loudly along the way. This time, small-children dressed in white kimono and festival-garb graced the shrine’s cushions and I ran in and out of canopies –again – excitedly observing the scene and
snapping a few pictures.

As a matter of fact, a similar situation took place on the way to the station that same afternoon, that night as I was biking near my house and again in Takasago the next day. While this IS the season for moving-shrine festivals, I expected to have to hunt-down opportunities down rather than having them literally stop me in my tracks. They weren’t joking about festival season!!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Fall has arrived

Japan is big on the changing of the seasons. For example, the Japanese have many words to describe the blooming of cherry blossoms in the spring.

More recently, however, October 1st unofficially marked the beginning of fall, with a very apparent and drastic change of dress. The men are suddenly wearing suits and every-other girl, woman and grandma is suddenly wearing fashion boots in exchange for the dressy sandals they had been sporting all summer. It is the season for moving-shrine festivals, moon-viewing parties and the spectacular changing of leaves. But for me, the big kicker came this evening when I realized even the grocery store - my reliable neighbor - changes with the season.

I have unsuccessfully tried to replenish my staple udon sauce on several occasions now. But two weeks ago, I realized the bottles in the sauces section were different. I can read some of the labels now, but I am nowhere near proficient enough to simply find everything on my shopping list alone at this point and thought I was either going crazy or was somehow just baffled by the fact that I couldn’t rely on even knowing what section of the grocery store I could find my favorite ingredients in. I brought the empty container of my last bottle of udon sauce into the store tonight, thinking I would be able to use the example and get someone to direct me to the sauce’s new location. What I was told, however, it that I am out of luck until next summer. It seems my sauce is ‘last season’ and my palette should also be changing with the months.

I can handle trading in the shorts and tanktops for jackets, but if I had the room in my kitchen, you would probably find me hoarding mass quantities of udon sauce in the pantry. That sounds strange, but when you find what you like, its worth it.


To end on a positive note, however, here are a few things I absolutely love about this country:

My bankbook - It balances my account and updates each transaction for me every time I use the ATM. And it turns the pages on its own.

Safety - It's not something to rely blindly upon, but I feel extremely safe in this country. I found myself carring a ridiculous amount of cash one day (this being a cash-based society) and realized I was not even worried about it being stolen.

Onsen - When you are floating in big, steaming-hot bathtub filled with natural spring water, bathing nude with complete strangers suddenly seems... normal. It's like The Marsh x 100.

My ketai (cell phone) - I can use my cell phone as a train pass and I email instead of text messaging. It also tells me when the last train is when I am out and you almost don't need a digital with the cameras on these things (they all use memory cards). AND to top it off, it was the free model when I signed up for a year contract so it cost me a whole 0 Yen!

No shoes - I love that I can eat in the cafeteria in socks. It almost feels like you are doing something wrong it is so comfy. I brought a lot of shoes with me to Japan, and have so far worn heels twice. There is not much of a point when you take them off at the door and wear slippers (or nothing) all day anyways.

Purikura (Photo stickers) - There are booths everywhere where you can take pictures with friends, decorate and write on them and then print out a sheet full of tiny stickers (easy to cut and share). It's great!

Cuteness - Japan is OBSESSED with CUTE. At first I found it a little weird and I still don't understand everything about this aspect of the culture, but I find myself calling things cute all the time now, too. Actually, it is probably up there with the Japanese words I use the most.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

So here I am...



I have been on the fence about whether or not to start a blog, but here I am. I know mass emails get old, but I feel like there is still something magical and exciting about getting an email from an old friend that can get lost in a blog. The mystery surrounding what your friends have been experiencing evaporates; that feeling of excitement diminishes. It's like developing film. Digital has taken away that initial excitement of seeing your memories for the first time on paper.

But then again. Digital has definitely saved me from some pretty horrible pictures. So here I am.



I hardly even know where to begin. I have been absolutely awful about writing home to everyone, so this is also an attempt to keep in touch and let people track my experiences with me. I have faced a lot of challenges in my two months living in Japan, but I know (or hope) I am growing a little bit with each one and I hope this will help you understand that process.

So a little about me: After college I entered the business world. After two years as an analyst, I followed an opportunity to live and work in Japan. Big lifestyle change. But a good one.

I am currently living in the Kansai area of Japan, between Himeji (the site of Japans most famous castle) and Kobe, a wonderful port-city that has the charm and ambiance of Oslo. Kobe city was flattened by a 7.2 earthquake in 1995 and has since been completely rebuilt and reclaimed its glory as a hub town and major housing venue for the international community in this area of the country (= awesome intl cuisine!).



I actually live in a city called Akashi, famous for having the longest suspension bridge in the world (connecting it to Awaji island). The 'Rainbow' bridge looks like the Golden Gate, but it is blue, bigger, and it lights up in rainbow colors at night. I originally thought it was nicknamed after the famous 'Rainbow Bridge' in Toyko, but the rainbow nickname comes from the lights. I have heard takoyaki (or octopus balls-a Japanese favorite) is also from Akashi. I live in a more industrial part of the city about 5 minutes from the water on the outskirts of town, but there is a park nearby. I am right off the train line, which is nice, and I take the train to work everyday. The picture on the left was actually taken from my balcony and the rice fields in the picture before it are about a block away. If you are a Google Earth user, you can check me out in Nishi-Futami.

Hyogo Prefecture (basically my county) spans across the middle section of the country. We have Kobe in the east and mountains on the western coast. Hyogo is part of the Kansai region. For those of you that don't know much about Japan, Kansai boasts being the cultural heart of Japan. Nara - the ancient capital of Japan, Kyoto - the imperial capital until the late 19th century and site of hundreds of shrines and temples, Osaka - a bustling metropolis second only to Tokyo, and Kobe - my lovely city - are among the famous places in this region. Kansai (sometimes known as Kinki) encompasses 7 prefectures and is, well, one of the best places one could hope to be... so I am pretty lucky. I have access to everywhere in Japan (and live near the Kansai Intl Airport - KIX) so I cannot complain much.



As for me personally, though, I am doing well and like it here. I have lived abroad before and traveled a bit, but I have realized (through observation) that I generally adapt very well to new places but the transition kills me every time. I actually broke down and cried the first night in my new apartment after realizing I had no shower, but I have come to love even my traditional Japanese bathtub and now feel very (or at least a lot more) comfortable in my surroundings. I am the only¡¡foreigner at my workplace (so we are talking total immersion) and I seem to garner mini-celebrity status whenever I go out (both the up and down sides - the neighbors probably know what color my underwear is because they watch me hang it outside!!); but you adjust. I will never be Japanese and will probably always get stared at on the street or on trains, but you habitually start to ignore it or just stop noticing after a while and life becomes normal again. I am making attempts at learning the language, but my circle of friends includes mostly other foreigners and I only started classes last week, so I have a long way to go. The people here are very kind and I am blessed with fun and interesting friends so I am happy. I miss everyone at home and every once in a while I just need to privately lament not having the people I love around, but then I go home and read, watch a movie, or rack up some yen on my landline (by calling those missed loved ones!) and it gets better. Itunes and Greys Anatomy have been lifesavers.



I need to get going, but my life is pretty random so I am sure I will have a lot to share. Until next time, thank you for getting through this (if you could) and I hope you enjoy! ;)


"Don't ever tell anyone anything. If you do, you start missing everyone." - J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye